You’re probably wondering if you’ve ever seen me in anything. Well, maybe you have: I beat Karen Allen to the punch by crawling over Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Ark; suitably made-up I did Gremlins 2: The New Batch (that Phoebe Cates – what a bitch), and I had quite a role in Arachnophobia, though Jeff Daniels had to shoot me with a nail gun, which seemed unnecessary, given that I was on fire at the time
But have you seen me recently? The answer is no. Honey, God’s cuter creatures are getting the work.
For instance, whales are big. And I do mean big – after Free Willy, get ready for Free Willy 2 I’m certainly prepared: theharpoon is right here. Horses are also hot, which is why Black Beauty has made a comeback (did anybody miss him?). I wish I had his creative control, though: he gets to do a stream-of-consciousness voice-over, like it’s Ingmar Bergman Takes the Jumps or something. Of course, that’s lifted from Charlotte’s Web, a spider film, but try telling the critics.
They can’t get enough of BB’s firm haunches.But even Blackie isn’t as gorgeous and dumb as Andre (right, with Tina Majorino) Andre’s a seal Andre makes Flipper look like Ernest Borgnine. He sucks up to the camera and no one dares mention that he’s wearing way too much mascara on those big brown eyes. When the girl behind me sighed “What Andre needs is a club”, I turned and agreed: a club is exactly what Andre needs But this girl screamed and the usher told me to leave. Which only proves my agent’s point – if I want to make it in today’s animal movies, it’s time to visit the plastic surgeon and get myself down to four legs, at most.. Casting is a little like juggling: it’s all in the balance. Cast a leading character one way and several other actors come into the frame because they look right together; cast it another way and you can’t use them
It begins with checks to discover actors’ availability You send out scripts to the very experienced ones. They come in and chat – or, if you’re very lucky, they’ll read for you.
However good (or bad) they turn out to be, the director still has to sit there, smile and be enthusiastic. (As actors will tell you, some are definitely better at this than others.)
Even making the final decisions can be a lengthy process. You make an offer for the leading role to an actress who did a magnificent audition She told you she loved it She turns it down. She’s been offered two weeks on a TV script which will pay more than the entire run of the play. Back to square one.The Strip, the latest from hot playwright Phyllis Nagy, makes fascinating demands.